Tuesday, October 7, 2014

a deep exhale

when i imagined creating this post i thought i would have many words to say but as it turns out i don't. sometimes there are no words only emotions and right now i'm bursting with them. 66 weeks in the making and now it's done. forever family. 
world please allow me to introduce you to the three most amazing children on the planet! they're world changers! Riah Jo McLennan, she has my mothers and mine middle name and she could have come from my womb, we're cut from the same cloth. she is my atonement child. my redemption. Braxton Pike McLennan, he is our first and was the gateway for this beautiful bunch. my secret prayers were for a ginger baby to give my mom and dad and the Lord delivered above and beyond with him. my heart swells with such love. Brooks Avett McLennan, dear goodness this baby is all that is lovely and completely has me wrapped around his finger. i'm beginning to understand why the "babies" of the family get away with everything! be prepared to gush over their adorableness, Lord knows i do. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

when we fight

I always hate it when we fight, like for real fight not our per usual loud discussions. It doesn't happen very often but when we do I can physically feel both my jaw and chest tightening and my mind swirls with confusion. I hate it. Being at odds with anyone, especially you makes me all kinds a bonkers and sucks the living life right outta me. Thank you for letting me sleep in on a school day and thank you for taking care of the babies and packing Birdie's lunch and getting her off to school without my help. And most of all thank you for the sweet notes throughout the house and especially the ones leading me straight to my tea! You. You sure got me started well today. Thank you Love! 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

let me breath

i've been holding my breath for the past 14 months...

i miss this, i haven't for nearly two years but now i do. i'm feeling overwhelmed to write again, to share our life, our mistakes and lessons learned. i started blogging a year after we moved to texas and enjoyed it very much for a few years. after we moved away i kept trying at it but it didn't always feel genuine, kinda a bit forced at times. maybe i didn't have much to say, maybe my perspective was off, way off. like many insecure bloggers, i soon focused on how many "followers" i could obtain to validate me instead of being secure in who i was and what i could bring to the internet and subsequently humankind and it quickly drove me mad. so mad that i slowly drifted away from blogging all together without so much as a "hey i'm not going to write anymore". i never intended to stop. life just sorta got crazy and i couldn't keep up. truthfully i've felt discouraged and  n o t  myself for the better part of the last 14 months. its been hard. crazy hard. after years of prayer and agony i finally became a mother; and what i imagined would be a season of celebration in reality became a time of agony, uncertainty and deep insecurity. are they staying are they leaving? will we get to keep the baby? they're mine, no they're not, yes they are and months of waiting. ...i've had to hide and hide my children because in reality they're not mine. not yet. some  most days are too much and have left me discouraged and unmotivated for much else than loving and caring for them.

Monday, March 17, 2014

february photo dump

what we did in february. 

our first family valentines day was celebrated with chocolate chip pancakes. auntie andy & auntie vic sent mama and birdie tulips, our favorite. birdie squealed with delight as soon as we opened the package. to think, someones treasured her enough to send her fresh flowers just because. boy this child is a sucker for the holiday. the morning of i woke her and the first sentences from her mouth were all about valentines day and the parties and cards, on and on she squeaked with excitement. i remember as a child my ma would set out special v-day treats for us girls on the kitchen table the night before. in the morning seeing the table set with gifts and chocolates always made me feel an extra boost of love and appreciation. naturally i feel inclined to recreate the happy experience and tradition with our littles. twas a hit.