Thursday, January 3, 2013

new year, new news

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after a while i found myself in a place where i sorta let go of the idea of children. i had grown accustomed to my life the way that it was. the constant monthly disappointments were too painful to carry on hoping. i carried on this way for some time until march 20, 2012.  during my morning quiet time i found myself reading Hebrews 11. the faith chapter. "now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."  ..."and without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." as i read i could feel my heart warm to the very thing he was calling me to have faith for. so yet again i placed my trust in the Lord that he would do what he said he'd do.

that afternoon i attended a women's bible study. there i had another prophetic encounter. a woman who did not know me or anything about me looked me straight in the eye and told me "God has been speaking to you, he has promised you something and you are doubting it. you are wondering if it was in fact him or if you made it up on our own. it was Him, He promised you in fact it's already on its way." instantly my spirit confirmed that this woman, was in fact, in that moment, speaking for God directly to me. i left that meeting on cloud nine! once again God saught me out and encouraged me that my children where on their way.


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as i sat in the passengers seat of our car and told ben about what God spoke to me that day i said something that has haunted me since. in all my excitement i explained that i now had absolute faith that the Lord was going to give us children and soon. but even if it didn't happen in the way i expected it to that i had faith that he was making a way. God would keep his word. but with all of my heart i believed and expected to receive a positive pregnancy test the next month. i did not. nor the months following.

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june we saw more doctors and fertility specialists and found out that there is some difficulty with my husband. fast forward to a few raw moments with reproductive specialists and the harsh reality, according to them, that for us to conceive biologically it would need to happen by incemination or IVF.
we decided that in the proper time we would go down that road but for the time being we would walk slowly and seek God's advice and direction. we found it a few short months later.

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november 20th 2012 we made a decision that i was previously guarded against. we made the decision to adopt. over night my heart went from fear to excitement and wanting nothing more.
we'd talked about adoption before but the timing never felt right. until now. the quickness with which my heart was opened to the idea of adoption is nothing short of a miracle. in fact the reality of it is still sinking in. this is very far from what i imagined my journey to motherhood would be like but one that i am embracing none the less.

after much prayer and consideration we've found ourselves on the road to adoption via the foster care system, we'll be doing foster to adopt. there are so many children within the foster care system here in the state of Arizona it's heartbreaking. january 2012 there were around 11,000 children in the foster care system and by december there were close to 15,000 in Arizona alone. it's a real crisis. there are so many children in this world that need mamas & daddys and we are a mamma & daddy in need of a child. a dear friend of mine challenged me with this statement that opened the door to this journey. "if God's plan is to not allow you to have biological children for the next five years do you really want your arms to be empty that much longer?" - no, no i don't. "pure religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their distress..." -James 1:27  "but it is always God's will to take care of the orphan." pieces are starting to fall into place. we've only begun but we're on our way to our baby.

i can't tell you how excited i am to share with you our journey into adoption. there will be so much to document.


35 comments:

  1. Laura @ Fairdale DiariesJanuary 4, 2013 at 5:06 AM

    that is wonderful. husband and i are *hoping* to have at least one biological child but my obgyn has let me know that might be hard...and he and i had already talked about adopting the rest of our children through foster care because we've seen so many cases through my best friend who is a director of foster care in our area... i am so excited for you and cannot wait to follow your journey!!

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  2. I have loved reading about your journey the past few months. I will be praying for you as you continue on with adoption.

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  3. Oh my goodness, I got chills when I read that you and Ben were adopting. I am so happy for the both of you! Coming from an adoptee I am so lucky & blessed that my parents adopted me. I don't know where I'd be if they didn't. :)

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  4. Ah! This makes my heart so happy. I'm actively involved in working to get the community aware of the current issues with the foster care system in AZ and how MANY children are currently in need of a good, quality, Christian home to feel safe & loved in. Our church has a program for that specifically called Esther's Hope... Not sure if you have heard about it but I can share the link to more info if you want!
    Praying so so hard for you & Ben & the child/children that will soon be coming into your home. Praying God blesses you beyond anything you can hope & dream for

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  5. Rose D. Frenchtown , NJJanuary 4, 2013 at 8:33 AM

    So happy for you!!!

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  6. So Excited for you my friend!!!!!! Love you

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  7. oh my word this is exciting! so so so happy for you and ben! some of our best friends are adopting after their journey of not being able to have biological children and it is such a beautiful picture of the gospel. what a blessed home these children will have!

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  8. I am so excited for you and your husband! What a journey! Praying for your sweet family as you start a new chapter.

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  9. This is truly exciting!! Praying for you guys!

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  10. So exciting! I am so overwhelming happy for you that God has opened up your hearts to this new opportunity. It may be tough, but continue to trust in His plan. Blessings for you both in this new year.

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  11. Amazing. I'm so excited for the two of you. You'll make amazing parents!

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  12. Love it!!!! You true Mama's heart is more than evident. So excited to experience this journey with you through your blog!!!! We are walking with you in prayer

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  13. This gave me goosebumps just reading it. Congratulations! I can't wait to read more about y'alls journey to adoption.
    xo, Maria
    http://www.peppermintsandpixiedust.blogspot.com

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  14. Wow! This is amazing. I have had fertility issues for six years and desparately want a child. My husband and I have been talking about adopting but have not taken this path yet. I am really interested to hear about your experience. I will pray for you and your family. Such an exciting time!

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  15. I love your heart! And Ben's! My prayers are with you both as you step into such an incredible journey! Your child will be so blessed, and so will you. :) God has beautiful things in store.
    Love,
    Court

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  16. I am SOOOO excited for you!!!! I often think that if one day I'm married and decide we want kids adoption is definitely an option. As you say there are SO many kids who need mamma's and daddy's to love them. This is really exciting! You guys are going to be wonderful parents! Can't wait to follow this new journey!

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  17. Ahhhhhhhhhhh I am so excited for you guys!!!!!! Babysitter!
    Loving your blog more and more Bex!!!

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  18. Wonderful! As an adoptee, I can't imagine anything better :) Anticipating what's to come for your family.

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  19. Wow! What a beautiful journey God is taking you on. Seeking God's face and His will is the absolute first and right thing to do. He will bless you and your sweet baby for your faithfullness to answer and follow His calling. Congrats and prayers for your process!
    Jenny Leigh
    jennyleighsblog.blogspot.com

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  20. This is so amazing and incredibly encouraging! I am so happy for both of you, you are going to be amazing parents and any child will be lucky to have you two!

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  21. This is amazing and incredibly encouraging!! I am so happy for you two! You guys are going to be amazing parents and any child will be blessed to have you two! :-)

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  22. I have followed your blog for over a year and I appreciate you sharing your raw emotions on your special journey. I also read a blog,Traded Dreams http://www.laurencasper.com. She 29 and also a youth minister's wife who has battled with infertility. After many years, they decided to adopt. They now have two beautiful little children from Ethiopia. She also had to raise the money for both adoptions. Although I do not know either of you personally, I feel that she can be a great support source for you. God bless!
    Devyn

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  23. Yea-- I have been waiting for a new post!! Congratulations and I will be praying for you guys on your journey!!

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  24. Wow! What amazing news. Congrats!

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  25. Thank you so much for being willing to share your beautiful story of faith. You are inspiring.


    And I LOVE those leopard pants, may I ask where you got them?! :)


    xo,Courtney
    http://shabbyloveschic.com

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  26. sounds like it's been quite the journey. way to keep relying on God & growing close to each other during this process. enjoy the adoption process... how exciting! and on a shallower note, haha i pinned one of your looks to the new fashion & faith pinboard on pinterest. quite fun. check it out! http://pinterest.com/lindseyherzog/fashion-faith-bloggers/

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  27. I am thrilled with and for you guys! What a post! This is my favorite thus far :) Love Grace

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  28. That is so exciting! I am so happy for you!

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  29. Love that God brought you to this. So exciting and I feel honored to follow this journey...thanks for sharing!

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  30. awww..your story is so touching.. That is wonderful that you will adopt. My sister in law adopted 5 kids from Ukraine. Its such a blessing to see each of them grow up here in America, she gave them hope, love, a future. You two will be wonderful parents, and cant wait to read your journey..
    God Bless!
    Love,
    Olga

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  31. wow, your story. i am new to your blog so i can't wait to read more and catch up but in the meantime i wish you the best in this new journey. i will definitely be following along on your exciting process ahead. :)

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  32. You put it down to words so beautifully and it actually gives me the chill. I'm so happy that you've found peace within and the child you'll get to adopt - that child is going to be loved so deeply and truly that it nearly brings tears to my eyes.
    Bex, I'm so happy for you, the both of you. Wishing you a nice weekend all the way from Sweden :)

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  33. Hi, your story is very inspirational :) I just found your videos, but how did the name Tim Tamming get created into it? Thanks

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  34. yay! My two cousins and I are adopted from the Philippines! Thank you for sharing this experience and this new decision with your readers. I recently followed Giuliana and Bill's Rancic's journey with conception and the eventual birth of their son via a gestational carrier.
    My husband and I are looking forward to adoption through fostering later in life when the time is right

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  35. chalayn hutchinsonMarch 6, 2013 at 10:18 PM

    Another beautiful post. :) As a new follower I am really looking forward to reading more about this. I've always admired people who adopt and wonder if my husband and I will someday.


    I believe with you that, like the woman at your church prophesied, God was not lying to you and your child (or children!) is already on its way. Hopefully your baby won't be too much longer. :)

    The Brayn of Chalayn

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